Making fun of Mian Nawaz Sharif and his minions almost seems cruel. The Pakistan Muslim League-Nawaz (PML-N) government is having such a tough time that even its detractors must be hoping that it can pull itself and the country out of the quagmire they are both in at this time. Frankly, it is much more fun to make fun of preening self-important popinjays full of braggadocio than it is of the ‘sad sacks’ that are running Pakistan these days. I particularly feel sorry for our ‘Minint’ of the ‘never changing hair’. If he gets any angrier he just might suffer the fate of Rumpelstiltskin. And our poor minister of load shedding who is disappearing so rapidly that like the Cheshire cat, we might just be left with his ‘perpetual’ frown to look at. But a word about Imran Khan is definitely in order. He is starting to look more than a bit stressed out. Any recent picture of his shows flaring nostrils, hands waving wildly, artificially darkened hair aflutter as if he were in the middle of his run up to the wicket to throw a fast ball. It seems that Khan still thinks he is playing cricket and if he could only throw a few swingers, zingers, yorkers and bangers, he could win another ‘world cup’. Sadly, as the old country western song says, “his honking days are done”. Much of our media, as well our politicians, are droning on and on about drones, especially since the head of the Pakistani Taliban, a self-proclaimed killer of many Pakistanis, was transported to meet his Maker by a wandering drone. Of course, one must not confuse a wandering drone with a wandering dervish. But as far the late Hakeemullah Mehsud is concerned, if the head of the Jamaat-e-Islami and the head of Jamiat-e-Ulema-e-Islam-Fazl both be believed, and of course, as well-known devout Muslims they must be believed, then the late killer with a price on his head is now a ‘shaheed’ (martyr). As such one must assume that having been transformed from killer to martyr, Mehsud is now frolicking in ‘jannat’ (Muslim heaven). As every Pakistani child knows, the very purpose of existence for all ‘good’ Muslims is to reach jannat. So if Mehsud is already there, did not the ‘drones’ do him a favour? Unfortunately, so many of our devout Muslims in Pakistan do not realise that as a matter of fact, the drones are doing God’s work by helping our ‘brave’ Taliban fighters to arrive in jannat most expeditiously. Here I need to make an important point. By transporting our brave Taliban to jannat earlier than even the ‘beneficiaries’ expected, the drones are doing them a great favour. For instance, if Mehsud had lived longer and made peace with Pakistan, and shudder, shudder, even with the perfidious Americans, he might have lost his place in jannat. So it is obvious that the drone masters did not want to deny Mehsud the possibility of fulfilling his ‘destiny’ as a holy warrior. Interestingly, there is another point worth considering. For centuries, virtually all interpretations of the Muslim Sharia law forbade Muslims from killing non-combatants, especially women and children. But this longstanding tradition was turned upside down with the start of the present epidemic of terrorism targeting civilians. Evidently some ‘worthy’ from the ‘Home of the Holy Places’ issued a ‘fatwa’ that if during an act of terrorism any ‘good’ Muslims and children were killed, they automatically became shaheeds and as such immediately found a place in jannat. Therefore, the suicide bombers and terrorists were doing them all a favour. So I suppose now the ‘drone warriors’ are returning the favour. Stop the drones, and shoot down the drones say the ones running the Khyber Pakhtunkhwa province and the Centre. But I don’t quite understand why they are all so upset with the drones since the drones are indeed doing God’s work. In my most humble opinion, our brave Taliban warriors should, as a matter of fact, stand out in front of the drones inviting martyrdom. But instead they seem to hide from such a glorious fate like the ‘Old Man of the Mountain of Alamut’ and his hashish-driven assassins. This clearly makes me wonder whether these Taliban are true fighters for Islam or just a bunch of assassins, and their leaders a bunch of cowering cowards. There evidently seems to be some disconnect between the beliefs of those that label these Taliban as ‘ghazis and shaheeds’ and the actual Taliban and their behaviour. Now it seems that the famous ‘Mullah Radio’, who once terrorised Swat, has been ‘elected’ as the new head of the Pakistani Taliban. He is the one that allegedly ordered the attack on Malala Yousafzai. Malala may not have got the Nobel Prize, but at least her fame forced the Taliban to elect as their leader the man who tried to get her killed. If true, a strange symmetry, I must admit. More importantly, our brave men in khaki, who were so unable to kill Mullah Radio when he was defiling Swat, are not going to take kindly to have to sit across a negotiating table and talk to him or his representatives. Perhaps they might even hope and pray that another drone strike dispatches him to jannat most expeditiously. And that, of course, makes we wonder that the man who ordered the assassination of a serving major general of the army did not also meet that fate due to the hopes and prayers of our men in khaki. One always does wonder when different ‘devout’ Muslims are praying for opposite things, whom the Almighty listens to. And yes, I am indeed feeling sorry for Mian Sahib these days. I am sure he would prefer to be elsewhere and not in Pakistan. But then somebody pointed out recently that out of his first five months in office he has spent a month outside Pakistan. I wonder why? The writer has practised and taught medicine in the US. He can be reached at smhmbbs70@yahoo.com