Career-focused, confident and assertive women should avoid looking for a partner with the same personality traits, a psychologist says, Daily Mail reports.
In her new book The Alpha Woman Meets Her Match, Dr Sonya Rhodes says that Alpha women have never had it better, except they are looking for love in all the wrong places.
Instead of trying to find a similar Alpha boyfriend, strong women should look for ‘Beta’ men; those who aren’t threatened by her success and are just as happy at home changing nappies than thrashing out a Power Point presentation.
“More and more women are making more money than men now,” says Dr Rhodes, who has been a therapist in New York City for 30 years.
“These are the social and economic conditions into, which the Alpha woman has come into her own and just like the Alpha man, she is strong, confident, goal-oriented and assertive.”
Dr Rhodes explains that Alpha women in the US tend to think that they’ve missed the chance of marriage because they’ve spent so long concentrating on their careers.
But this is not the case. In fact, getting married later can actually have its benefits.
“Women are now leaving it until they are more mature, until their career has developed and they’re in a better place to choose their partners,” she tells Sarah Rainey of the Telegraph.
“They just need to start looking past the competitive, domineering Alpha male.”
She goes on to say that, despite this, Alpha women carry a negative stereotype too, in that they are bossy, domineering and controlling.
“That is not the typical Alpha woman of today,” says Dr Rhodes. “Alpha qualities are not male or female, they are just attributes that both men and women have.”
The book, published in the UK on May 22, promises to help you find Mr Good, not Mr Good Enough. Dr Rhodes argues that some Alpha women struggle to find the right partner because they are attracted to Alpha men but, ultimately the relationship ends in a power struggle.
“Alpha women may believe the Alpha male is their natural partner – a breadwinner, similar to her,” she tells the Telegraph.
“But although they might make an exciting relationship, they don’t make a good relationship because one will always want to assert their authority.”
The Beta man, she says – one who is more laid-back, communicative, responsible and sensitive without being wimpy or needy – is better suited to an Alpha woman. A Beta man will be more respectful and supportive of his partner, and not be threatened by her confidence or success.
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